DR DOOM: Well, Mr Retail, How are you feeling today?

PAT Retail: Not so good , Doctor.

DR DOOM: You mean not so well. Well, I have good news and I have bad news.

The good news - your blood is perfectly healthy.

The bad news - you don’t have enough of it to keep you alive.

HAPPILY, you have a life-saving choice to make.

Either you can pay for a blood transfusion every day for the rest of your life, OR,

 we can amputate your arms,your legs and your ***is, thereby reducing the demand placed on your existing blood supply.

I’ll be back next week for your answer. In the meantime, you have yourself a holly, jolly  Christmas.

Oh by golly have a holly, jolly Christmas this year.